Nathan's Alaskan Adventures

Final Chapter

2010-08-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

My last update from Alaska, August 8, 2010, started at 10:46 AM AK Time

I have done some things recently that I don’t think that I’ve mentioned. I will list them in no particular order.
1. Rafted down Campbell Creek in a Target $5 raft. Mild hypothermia may have set it.
2. Started an event at Covenant House whereby teams build cardboard boats with duct tape and race them. My boat, The Meggido, sank. I carted it through the water to the finish line though. Next years boat for the CSC will be The Redemption.
3. I had my last day of work on Monday, August 2nd.
4. I tried whale, and whale fermented in whale blood.
5. I am gaining weight because everyone keeps taking us out to lunch and dinner.
6. We helped move the new Jesuit Volunteers in last night. It is odd moving people in to the house you just lived at.
7. Acted like a tourist.
8. Biked 25 miles out to Eagle River and back.
9. Played with Kickpocalypse the Kickball team. I kicked my first grand slam the other day and played in the All-Star game this past Friday where I booted two home-runs.

And so ends the glorious year. But the journey continues.

Tonight, I fly out to Juneau where two of my housemates and I will be ferrying to Sitka, Petersburg, and Ketchikan. This will take about a week and we will hopefully be able to see lots of marine life and beautiful mountains as we cruise around on the waters of Southeast Alaska.

Then I will be flying to San Diego to meet up with my friend Nick from High School. We will be driving his stuff back from CA to Michigan via Phoenix, Denver, Kansas City, Chicago and I don’t really know where else. I believe the intended date of return to Michigan is the 23rd of August. I’m not completely sure, who knows what might happen.

I will have to elucidate my feelings on the year at some later point, probably after I have reflected and am at home in late August.

It is a sad thing to leave Alaska. It truly is a majestic place.

The End of the Beginning

2010-08-05T11:44:00.001-07:00

Dear Arctic Ocean,

I traveled the Dalton Highway, also known as the Haul Road for those who watch Ice Road Truckers. Regular folks aren't supposed to use this road between the months of October to April due to the extreme weather conditions. Quick facts: from Anchorage to the Arctic Ocean and back is about 1700 miles; we traversed this distance in 3.5 days; we drove a '99 Ford Exporer, black; it was coated brown after the end; we had to bring 15 gallons of gas strapped to the roof of the car b/c gas isn't guaranteed; 4 of us journeyed; we dipped in the Arctic Ocean which wasn't too cold, but there was a threat of hitting rusting metals in the water; BP is the operator up there at Prudhoe Bay where the oil is pumped; Prudhoe Bay, the farthest north area we went has the largest concentration of mosquitoes in the world; 250 some people travel it every day.

People said we were crazy, trying to get there. Many people blow a tire. Others wouldn't want to drive for three straight days. Still others would balk at eating meager rations. And, there's no support crew if you get into an accident. Few want to spend a weekend doing this.

Worth it. You get to see the interior of Alaska. You drive through 3 mountain ranges. You go past ANWR (Anwar as it is commonly pronounced). BTW, this makes me an expert at oil exploration. So if any of you are for or against drilling in ANWR, just know that I have been there and you can't argue with me because of my credentials. PhD Krawetzke.

Sadly few animals. The caribou had just migrated through the North Slope. Thousands of them the week before we got there. Major bumsies. It's okay though. We got to bounce along the tundra, follow the trans-alaskan pipeline (which is an engineering marvel, look it up), and travel along an unpaved road at speeds ranging from 20mph-45mph.

On our way back we made two notable stops. One was at the Chena Hot Springs. These hot springs are up by Fairbanks and a resort has created a pool around them. The water is over a hundred degrees and they've created a rock formation around it. You can go swimming in it year round. Pretty rad. It's not often in Alaska that you feel uncomfortably hot after a little while. Being encased in heat was intoxicating. Bliss.

Our other notable stop was in a place called North Pole. When people send letters to Santa Claus this is where they go. They even respond to letters. It's psychedelic. Every light post looks like a candy cane, every street is named something Christmasy, and there are giant santa cutouts that tower over you. I can't be certain, but this might be an LCD-inspired town. I'm petitioning Congress for a special investigation.

Marathons and Musings

2010-06-24T18:48:00.001-07:00

Everyone, hello.

Quite a lot has been happening recently, as I'm sure it is with you. Summer is upon us.

Never have I lived in a place that so actively follows the timing of the sun and rejoices in it. Everyone is out of their winter dens and experiencing as much of the light as possible. Many people know the time when the sun rises and sets, but it's all pointless because it's light out all "night" long. There is no night here. The day has conquered it. It's been 50s or 60s for far except for one week of low 70s. The youth complain on a sunny day that it is too hot. One came inside the CSC because it was too hot outside.

"It's 60 degrees out. It's not too hot. 90 is hot. Get outside. Get some sun." The staff retorted.

I maximize my chances to bronze as much as possible. On the weekend I read the Economist outside in my shorts and I run home a decent amount so I drink it in. People in Anchorage are magically pale. I've also committed to wearing shorts to work everyday, along with another co-worker. It's summer, we argue, and so, we shall wear shorts! Viva la shorts!

In other news, I ran a marathon the other day, aka last Saturday. I ran it in 3'40". That turns out to be 8 min and 40 sec miles. I ran most of the race at a pace of 8 min 20 secs but my last 6 miles were less than stellar... To give you a hint as to their weak-sauce nature I shall tell you a tale.

At mile 10 or so, I caught up to an older man wearing burnt orange. A TEXAS FAN. His shirt said Runtex on it and I thought nothing of passing him because people were always shifting in positions as the race went on. Many people who passed me I eventually passed because they couldn't sustain their pace. Well, let me tell you a lesson I've learned in the past but had forgotten. Old Man Strength is not to be underestimated.

For all those who don't know, Old Man Strength is the term used to describe men over 35 who have increased muscle mass even though they don't appear to have worked out or have large muscles. This is the strength that allows a father to whoop on his sons even when the sons should have reached that peak physical prime. My theory is that at 25 I will be at my prime, but I wonder sometimes because of OMS if that is true.

Mile 21 comes around. I'm fighting against my better instincts which tell me to quit but I'm churning my legs, trying to keep running. This Runtex man comes gracefully out of the thicket, blatantly flaunting his superior SEVENTY YEAR OLD LEGS. "Nathan, this man is 70 looking, you can keep pace with him for the rest of the marathon." I believed that illusion for a couple of minutes. Then I realized he was in better shape and I had been bested. This man, is, the man I thought. I hope when I'm 70 that I have the skill of this old man. Then he ran off into the distance, maintaining his pace while mine tapered off. Those last 6 miles really are a killer.

But know everyone, that I, Nathan Alan Apollo Krawetzke, did not juice. I took no performance enhancing drugs. No muscle milk, no roids, no goos. Goos? People offered me these goos that are simple sugars that can give you energy. Modern creations of man.

"Just try it Nathan, everyones doing it, don't you want to be cool? They'll help you finish strong and keep you energized. You should give it a go"

"You keep your filthy goos! Do I look like the Barry Bonds or Lloyd Flandis of marathon running? I'm running this all natural. Scruff McGruff taught me well, along with the DARE Bear."

"Just say no" ran through my head. I thought of the disappointment of my parents as other parents heard in the media and looked down on a shamed family. "Oh, your son took goos, oh my, pity, what a shame, that boy had potential, why did he feel he had to go that eXtreme? Pity, pity..."

I ran it clean!

This was on my life list. It has been crossed off. I'm claiming credit as the first Krawetzke to run a marathon. Perhaps the first Schaupp. Does that make me a runner? I've always thought runners were odd. I'd rather play tennis, soccer, or bball. History shall decide.

Wimbledon! John Isner. Phenomenal.

Soccer! Team USA! I've woken up early to watch the games at a bar downtown that plays them (6 AM here). If you aren't watching, what the heaven are you doing? Get it in gear. Lock it up. We're in the top 16. Watch the game Saturday. Catch the fever. USA. If you don't care, you're probably a terrorist because you certainly aren't a patriot. In honor of the 4th, and not having to say the word honour with an English U, root for America and for freedom.

I have yet to see a bear, but I've seen a print and some scat. Maybe if I can get up to Denali I'll be able to see some. Someone got attacked (and was barely hurt) on a trail in a state park by Anchorage b/c they were riding their bike by a stream where bears hunt for fish (bears are surprised by fast moving bikers and so react). Some wanted the trail closed. Mayor Dan Sullivan said roughly "we shall not cede an urban, human, park to the bear enemy. this is our city." I agreed 100%. We've claimed this land bears. There are many human traitors/bear lovers/freedom haters though who have complained about this. "Bears were here first and they can do whatever they want. I hate humans," they say. Unbelievable, I know.

Soon, bears will attempt to wear suits like in Animal Farm, and Moose will press for a right to vote. We Alaskans can't let that happen. Not on my watch. I shall fight for what George Washington gave us. You betcha.

I should be home in August for all those interested parties.

Green Eggs and Wildlife

2010-05-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

Everything is green again! Finally. And it's starting to be high 50s, barely 60, fairly consistently. I ran in just a t-shirt and shorts for the first time yesterday. In the words of a high schooler: epic.

The marathon looms in the distance. As Frodo once nervously approached Mount Doom with Samwise Gamgee, I too must now start the inevitable climb to the marathon date in June.

The hype machine for the Lions has begun turning. With another stellar draft and an improved D-line, I can't wait to watch the Lions absolutely maul the competition on their way to a perfect, 16-0 season just two years after going 0-16. SUPERBOWL 2011. Done.

I saw two baby moose that had only been born the day before. They could barely walk and were the size of little dogs. Curse the moosen! They will attack our vegetables and steal our food supply. Soon they'll steal fire from us like that monkey tried to do in Jungle Book and then who knows where the world will go. Vigilance!

Orcas are dangerous. I watched them on Blue Planet spend 6 hours drowning a baby gray whale only so that they could eat its tonge and jaw. Are you kidding? These monsters kill just for the sport of it. Keep an eye on your waters everyone.

Do people still say Guaransheed back home?

You can still bike outside here at 11 PM and not have trouble seeing because its a long twilight. Ridiculous.

Come Memorial Day weekend, I should be going on a trip to Homer, AK in my flashy mini-cooper. I won two days of a free rental because of my mustache's charisma during a People's Choice competition. Hope is this small hippie town off the edge of the Kenai penninsula where there is lots of fishing, camping, and beautiful wildlife all on the sea. It should be a good time for all.

Most exciting of all: I asked the cook at Covenant House if I could have a special meal for my birthday and she agreed to make everyone Breakfast for Lunch on June 9th. If you don't like breakfast foods for lunch or dinner, you need to figure out why you have lost your soul. It's so delicious. It has the potential to be a best day ever. Eggs, hashbrowns, omelettes, french toast, fruit, pancakes, waffles, toast, biscuits, orange juice, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Oh yes. Oh yes.

Man VS Wild

2010-04-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

So I almost got to fulfill one of my goals: fighting a dog. Let me clarify. I don't want to fight one, I just feel like I should prove myself as alpha male.

It was a large brown dog, some type of boxer mut. As I walked past, I noticed that the dog was untethered to anything, but he had a shock collar on so I figured I was safe (notice how I had used my powers of observation to assess the situation before it even happened). The dog appeared surly though. As I walked on, I started to imagine how I would fight it should it attack. A twist of the color to strangle it after I had whipped it in the face with my backpack. The dog began to walk after me.

"Shall we dance, you and I?"

I was about 20 yards away from the driveway where I first saw it and it still followed. I turned around to look at it, paying attention to the gap in space. I had a bus to catch and I had this trailing dog. It mistook my walking away from it with fear.

WRONG MISTAKE.

The dog then began to jog towards me and growl. I walked backwards as it continued to gain the distance between us. He came within 10 feet and stopped. Barks erupted from the foolish beast.

"No!" I condemned the dog, "GO HOME! Get outta here!" Not to be outdone, the dog continued to follow me as I walked away and made one last attempt. He moved in close and let out the same aggressive vocal barrage. Not to be outdone, I stepped towards the dog, pointed back to the house, and yelled. He wandered away, off to bother someone else.

Spring?

2010-04-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

Good news everyone. Light is still out until around 10PM. Epic I know. Sadly, it snowed again recently. All signs pointed to a continuous warming, but then BAM! Mother Nature put us back in our place with 6" of snow. WILD. This is a crazy land I live in.

I went to Folk Festival last weekend in Juneau. It is one of the largest festivals in Alaska and it did not disappoint. I got down there on a Thursday night and stayed until Monday. Almost all of the Alaskan JVs crammed into one house and set out on adventures together.

The music and other activities were all free. People buy "memberships" to Folk Festival that help fund bringing a guest artist and pay for a convention center. In fact, anyone can register to play a 15 minute set, out of the hours of music I saw, only a couple of these 15 minute sections were not worth seeing. And the music ranged from rock-folk to folk-folk to alternative-folk. I'm not sure if these are accurate descriptions but they work in my head and I think are a working explanation.

When we boarded the plane we saw tons of interesting characters. People with outlandish mutton chops, long hair, loads of instruments, crazy beards, wild hats, and a few hippies who were a moment in time from the 60s. It was one of the loudest plane rides I've been on. One of the other great things was that all of these musicians would just play their instruments wherever they could set up and so music was everywhere.

Another thing I learned: folk music speaks to the human condition much better than many other forms of music. There is true emotion coupled with unguarded lyrics.

There was one man who pushed the boundaries of society with his hippy ways. He sang about how to pronounce a place in Alaska, about thinking he was a butterfly but emerging from his cocoon as a moth, and about nuclear bombs. He also suggested that Alaskans take their PFDs and use them to change our social ills for the most oppressed. I had mixed reactions to this man. I think the spectre of Richard Nixon fell upon me and tried to convince me that this man had good intentions but was making America weak, while the spectre of Jesus cascaded on my heart and found his ideas to be true, but not very palatable in the cornyness of his approach. Either way, the hippy man walked off the stage, his long grey ponytail bouncing as peace guided his steps.

In the end, Juneau is a beautiful place that people should visit. Yet it has some oddities to it. They have a whole street that has diamond jewelers on it. The city has 30,000 some people in it. How can you have a STREET of (blood) diamonds for that many people? Wouldn't you only need one or two? Hmmmm. I wonder what they could all be for... Oh yeah, another thing. People in Juneau all wear these boots called Xtratuffs. They are brown rain boots with a yellow rim at the bottom. Girls, boys, young and old. They are the fashion. It's like Henry Ford's black model T: they come in every color, as long as it's brown.

I also watched Fargo. I'm now starting to recognize a Midwest accent in myself.

Lastly, I'm bringing the Midwest up here for our diversity dinner on Thursday. Sloppy Joes and Cornbread. Watch out coastal fools! Freshwater is best!

Spring Is Upon Us

2010-03-28T15:31:00.000-07:00

Everyone! Spring is coming! Although it snowed a slight dusting today, the temp has been in the upper 30s and low 40s and I'm itching for this summer heat.

Highlights as of recent:

A) I ran for an hour and a half last week. AKA longest run of my life. My hump is at 40 minutes; if I can get past that then I'm feeling pretty good. Why can't we get fit by eating more? What a backwards world we live in where things that are good for you are painful. Hey brain, you should want to run because at some point in the future you'll feel better, but not right now. Absurd.

B) I discovered Coldplay's album Viva La Vida. By discover I mean that I just realized my housemate had it on their ipod. I am in the process of overplaying all the songs.

C) I have moved past the Era of Woe and am now in an Era of Bliss. I had a "Best Day Ever" recently, on St. Patrick's Day. Note that "Best Day Ever" isn't finite, meaning that I can have multiple days of bestness. Words won't do it justice. If you want, I can attempt to describe it over the phone. I hope you're all having your own Best Days Ever.

D) The Lions are about to have another amazing draft. Superbowl 2010. Here we come.

E) I joined a co-ed soccer league. The team is made up of some younger males and then a plethora of 40-50 year old women. Watch out ladies back home, I could be attacked by a cougar. However, this is unlikely, as the milieu of the team is to find offensive remarks like "mark up" and "watch back door" and "come on guys let's get fired up." When something like this is said, what I imagine them hearing is a cacaphony of crows who are shouting personal insults. It is hard to be on a leaderless team that needs a leader and simultaneously rejects one. Poor Ben tried to be this, and well, he was run-off the team. But hopefully everyone gets along and we win today! Hope springs eternal!

F) Obamacare passed. Why is someone like David Frum so discredited? Why can't politicians treat each other like intelligent human beings? I'll even settle for simple human beings. Why can't we do the same?

G) I'm going to Juneau the weekend after Easter to go to Folk Fest. Hopefully Juneau is gorgeous and the journey most excellent.

H) Thank you to all who have donated to my mustache/Covenant House. It IS visible (mom) but its quite elusive due to its golden nature. Speaking of golden locks, my hair hasn't been cut since I moved up here. The mullet in the back was trimmed but that is all. It makes my head look quite round. Essence of Skywalker I shall call it.

I) I'm still trying to figure out plans for next year. My term is over at the end of July and my friend Nick and I are thinking about doing a two-week bike trip around the lower penninsula of Michigan. Afterwards? A stop in Seattle and then onto Hawai'i perhaps?

Mustache March

2010-03-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

Dear all,

I have made yet another decision that could lead to greatness or could lead to my very demise. I have signed up for a fundraiser for Covenant House Alaska called Mustache March. If you would like to check out the site it can be found here (for those who don't want to continue reading): http://www.covenanthouseak.org/MustacheMarch2010.asp

Mustache March is an ongoing event where men grow out their 'staches to raise cash--the saying goes something like that. In my infantile years, my 'stache is not yet at it's peak growing stages. The crisp golden fibres are not exactly "visible" and may not be the thickest. To break it down, I have a wonderful 'stache, you just can't see it. Kind of like Zeus on his mountaintop: we all know he's up there throwing lightning bolts, we just can't see him.

Anyway, the funds raised go to Covenant House Alaska and to the general operating costs. We run a crisis shelter for homeless youth, 3 meals a day for them, a transitional housing program for independents and young women with children/pregnant, a community services center (where I work), a workforce development program, and an outreach team. If you would like to support CHA and my stache, feel free to go to http://www.covenanthouseak.org/MustacheMarch2010.asp and donate. We are supported mostly through private donations (around 70%) so every dollar we raise counts. It's also pretty direct: it goes straight to youth programs.

I do believe in the program I work and serve for. Many of our youth that we see are 17-20 and come from broken homes. They skip around from house to house looking for a place to stay because they were never really given a stable environment to grow up in. Absent parents and mentors often leads them onto the path of drugs, homelessness, brokenness, and ultimately to a state of despair where they lose hope in themselves. We are trying to pick up where others who should have been there, failed them.

Last year mustache march raised around $16,000. Our operating costs tally somewhere around $3 million a year. If you don't want to donate to CHA, I encourage you to become involved in the homelessness issue in your own area. St. Vincent DePaul, other Covenant Houses, other Catholic services programs, etc., are always looking for volunteers, especially now as funding has diminished and demand has risen. At least, pray for them.

I'm sorry my updates have slowed. The internets has been lost at my house so I have to stay late at work--what I'm doing now--to get anything posted. I'll try and get another one up this week because I went to the start of the Iditarod.

On the Other Side

2010-02-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

I'm halfway through my JVC year and so I shall be evaluating my experiences in a coming blog post.

Let me break down some other important news:

*There may soon be a video of my roommates doing a dance to a song called "Single Ladies"

*I will be coming home February 16-23

*I have helped create Snowhendge in my front yard. Let it be known that this insightful word inspired Barack to call the snowfall in DC Snowmaggedon. Both are excellent. Mine is more tasteful, though, as it is more accurate

*I'm thinking about where to live next year. Options include but are not limited to: Hawaii, Chicago, Seattle, Cleveland, and other places that you, dear reader, suggest

*I saw "The Road." I now have fears for the end of the world and how we humans will treat each other. The surviving humans tend to form into roving bands that eat people. The UN should create a peace accord that rules against this post-apocalyptic behavior.

*Russell Crowe will be in a movie called "Robin Hood." It is bound to be phenomenal.

*Valentine's Day is coming up very quickly. Everyone will be glad to know that I have not yet been called to be someone's Valentine. I'm assuming everyone hasn't expressed interest because they assumed I was already taken. Makes sense, right? I'll be starting a special countdown. Much like the Joker in Batman who attacks someone everyday until Batman reveals his identity, I will try to eat more every day that I go by untaken. This gives everyone incentive to jump in the game ASAP. Hopefully I think of something better, this is a terrible plan. I'm already regretting it. Okay, I'll think of something better, just know that it will be terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible! As a special note of interest, I will be dressing up for the occasion as Cupid and stinging people with love arrows. No one can stop true love. See the Princess Bride for details

A New Hope

2010-02-07T19:28:00.000-08:00

The Saints just won the Super Bowl. Does everyone know what that means? Does anyone have any idea how monumental this is? It seems fate is giving us hints every year...

The Lions will soon be facing the Browns in the Super Bowl.

I've been calling it for almost 5 years now. Two historically bad teams going to the Super Bowl. Wait, let me qualify bad. Bad in terms of record, not in terms of general awesomeness. Anyway, the Saints have been a historically terrible team and they just won. The Cardinals last year were an awful team in the past and they won last year (The officiating staff claimed that Holmes, a Steelers receiver, had two feet inbounds in the endzone but this was merely a ploy by Big Government or Big Corporations to keep the little guy/new money out of the picture).

More evidence yet presents itself. The Colts were terrible in Manning's first year. The Lions were less than stellar in their first year with Matthew Stafford. However, Stafford is my boy and thus, will clearly fulfill all of my Super Bowl aspirations. I'm not trying to be Rasputin or Nostradamus, I'm just following the signs of the times.

To quote Lion King again: "It is time."

The Battle for Our Youth Has Barely Begun

2010-01-20T22:40:00.000-08:00

I'm calling everyone to action.

As Scar says in The Lion King, "Be Prepared."

There is a menace loose on our streets. This Monster has crept into our homes and into our very ways of life. These things even put out propaganda to convince us that we need them.

You already know what I'm talking about don't you. You're afraid. If you stand up for what's right, who knows what might happen. There is much to be lost in this battle for good.

Energy drinks must be destroyed.

After much consideration, thought, prayer, and careful study, I have determined that they are one of the greatest threats to our national security and our being. A decade ago, these plagues barely existed. No one needed them. A new vision of the world was created though and sold to us. A world where we were boosted with Xtreme energy that could be bought for the exorbitant price of $3 and come in a jacked-up aluminum can.

Are we but Sheep?

As many of you know, I fought texting last year as my enemy of 2009. I came away with many scars and several personal relationships were bruised because I even refused to receive text messages. Brave, I know. But my fellow consumers, I was blessed with a vision of a world without texting, where we spoke to each other and cared enough about the people to give them a voice. Now, after winning this battle and eliminating texting from the world, I embark on a quest to slay energy drinks. It is my new enemy of the year, the enemy of 2010.

My reasoning?

Let me give you a few quotes from the youth.

1) Energy drinks are like water for me, they have no effect.

2) I drink sometimes up to 10 a day.

3) I need the energy, I can't start my day without one.

4) They don't keep me awake, even when I drink them right before bed. (Now enter the conversation a minute later). I couldn't sleep at all last night, I don't know why.

5) They aren't that expensive.

6) You don't know what I'm like without one.

7) They are my tackling fuel.

I find these cans all over the place and watch as the youth slurp them constantly. Do you remember the scene in Tommy Boy where Chris Farley is eating ketchup packets and David Spade says "I can hear you getting fatter"? Remember how it makes you laugh but also cringe?

I know the war against coffee can never be won. There are too many soldiers already drafted into the army of Folgers and Starbucks. But hope remains in this fight.

To arms.

New Year Updates

2010-01-11T00:19:00.000-08:00

I know many of you are clamoring to know what my New Year's Resolution is. Well, the secret is out: I'm running a marathon in June. "Nathan, don't do that!" You will all inevitable say. Never fear dear friends, I shall not succumb like the Greek hero of yore. I shall possibly destroy my knees/hips/feet/foots/footsen, but the shadow shall not overtake me.

Why am I doing this? I quite often run my mouth and declared at JVC Orientation that I would run a marathon. I sealed the deal by putting my hand into a circle of fellow JVs and we promised to each other that we would see this through. It is easy to promise to do a marathon when it is a year away, remember that if you ever think otherwise. "I should run it before I get too old; it's one of those things you need to do in your life." This is one of those times you look back on yourself and realize you're an idiot. I should have said, "I should probably recline on a couch and relax before I get too old," or something to that effect. Hindsight is 20/20 my friends.

Beard-be-Gone

2010-01-09T12:35:00.000-08:00

On the fateful day of Christmas, on the birth of the Saviour, I, Nathan Krawetzke, shaved off my beard. I thought to myself, how can I imitate Christ and also be one with him? Surely Jesus came into the world without a beard. True, he must have had one later in life, but at his birth he was clean-shaven and so was I. It is for these most humble reasons that I shaved my beard. It had nothing to do with the absurd length or the fact that I no longer recognized the person in the mirror. It also had nothing to do with the fact that I could no longer tell where my face was.

A beard does have it's advantages though.

#1) It disguises my age to the youth. With a beard, they all guess my age as being mid-twenties. Some are so age-guessing-impaired that they'll say I'm 30. Without a beard, they are clever enough to see that I look very close to their age. This causes issues of respect. I immediately have more authority if I look older, and so, I am growing back a controlled beard sans mustache.

#2) It keeps you warm. It's like wearing a blanket on your face when you go outside. When I would run out in the chilly Alaskan weather, it would pull the moisture from my face and freeze it on the hair. Awesome. This cool factor cannot be underrated. I never noticed my chin being cold once.

#3) You can play with it. It also helps you look more believable when you're thinking about something and you run your fingers through it. You can also use it to freak people out. You attack someone and rub your gangly beard on them. Fun. You fro it out and pretend you're a pirate. Nice. These things are all possible with a beard.

#4) People are intimidated by it. They think you're a hillbilly from out in Wasilla or someplace. They will think twice about attacking you because you're crazy enough to have that excessive beard and will then forgo thoughts of being arrested or whatever in favor of taking said attacker to to the cleaners.

#5) Girls are crazy about them. Now, I know the anecdotal evidence is against this. With a mystical beard, you will often hear: "That makes you look less attractive," or "You definitely need to shave," or "That's creepy." But what they're really trying to say is: "Wow, you are so attractive that I'm afraid if I don't try to immediately repulse you, I'll be in love with you forever." I don't argue with science. Oxford and Cambridge have been publishing on this fact for years.

#6) Storage space and green power. Birds can nest, food can be saved, and woodland critters will think you belong in nature. Anyone with a long beard may as well be Captain Planet 2.0.

I think you get the point. Beards are one of those paradoxes of life: they are both incredibly amazing and terrible at the same time. We should all take a second to mull this over in contemplation.

Beggar's Canyon

2009-12-14T18:46:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I went to a magical place called Byers Lake where I stayed in a cabin with my housemates. It is located outside of Denali National Park some hundred or so miles away but I couldn't see the mountain. Anyway, the snow was over 2 feet deep and we had to hike in a mile through the snow carrying all our gear.

We built a five person snow cave. It took a few hours, but it was worthwhile. After being dedicated to it for a couple hours, we consumed a cold beverage on the inside as we fought off the Alaskan winter.

I slept wonderfully the first night on wooden boards, but the second night was a wretched one. I think my body lost all of its built up tolerance for solid floors the first night and had nothing to cash-in on the second. Oh well, it was a great place to stay, I shouldn't complain.

I'll post more on all this soon.

Pictures coming.

Snow and Rain

2009-12-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

We eventually ended up getting two days worth of snow. All of my complaining must have finally brought it down. We probably got anywhere between 5-8 inches total putting us at a grand total of 10 or so inches if you add in the snow we had from before.

This was something to celebrate and as such I finally convinced my housemates that it was time to go sledding. One had never been before and another didn't believe that one could make sledding "trains" but these things were both remedied. We created a 7 person train that drew the admiration of the small crowd of 6 or so other people and we also had the joy of going down face first, which is actually a very comfortable, controlled, and fun way to sled.

However, Trevor, Alexandra, and I made what one could consider an epic mistake or totally bodacious move: the three of us got in one sled, went down a steep part of the hill, and hit a ramp. Scholars are still trying to calculate just how much air we had and with how much force we hit the ground. I don't pretend to know these things. What I do know is that we said a prayer at the top of the hill where I asked the Lord to protect us and our abilities to reproduce in case we ever try to have children. I believe this ability is still intact. I also know that we set a great example for all the little kids that were there. They could visually see greatness in their midst and were desperate to try and live up to the glory that we exuded. Sadly, calmer parental units were there to stem any desires of adventure. That, or they saw us in pain. Believe what you will.

When we first touched down, I landed on my side with Trevor falling on my leg. As I writhed on the ground with the others, I began laughing uncontrollably along with my housemates. Life was exhilarating. I could still walk! C'est la vie! The only thing I regret is not doing it again. Practice makes perfect. I'm sure more great, intelligent forays into the world of the unknown await my next outdoor experience.

Major bumsies. It started to rain yesterday and now we only have some snow left.

Lastly, I played RISK all day on black Friday at work. Well, not all day. I got in at 7:30 am and began playing at 10. We played until 12 then took a 45 minute respite followed by almost 3 more hours of hardcore, Xtreme gameplay that only the toughest of people can handle.

5.5 hrs of light I think. Somewhere around there.

Better than your local news

2009-11-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

I entitled this post the way I did because almost anything is better than the local news in my opinion. Hopefully this post lives up to my extremely high expectations.

I'm going to be posting some pictures of myself soon on facebook no doubt, but maybe I'll spend some time trying to upload them to this. I hope you can chart the progress of my evolution from Michigander to a new hybrid Michi-laskan. Evidence of the mixture is a tendency to wear flannel, say "Right on," have an independent streak, enjoy the outdoors, love acquatic activities, emphasize the simple, wear boots all the time, praise 30 degree weather, make fun of California, be eternally hopeful of the Lions, and hate OSU fans.

It's too early. It's too dark. The sun gets pushed into the sky at 9:30ish and gets dragged down around 3:30ish.

Speaking of local news being a diamond in the rough, the local weather cannot get anything straight. I, as a personal practice, try to never watch the weather. I like to just fall into it. However, my coworker did me the misdeed of telling me that over the next 5 days we would receive 16 inches of snow. That was two days ago and we were supposed to receive most of it already. This only proves how smart we all are.

Time to start work.

Remember Remember the 5th of November...

2009-11-02T10:07:00.000-08:00

First of all, everyone needs to remember that the 5th of November is coming up. What this means is that my V for Vendetta DVD is still missing. It was located at 114 Lawnview last year and for some reason that I cannot figure out it walked away. If you see it joyriding down your streets please make a concerted effort at a citizen's arrest.

In other news, it's in the 20s right now and the sun comes up after 9 AM. Also, it sets for a long time but goes down around 6 PM. It is too lazy to ever get overhead anymore, it kind of just lulls across the sky at a low angle. Hopefully the snow comes soon; I've been calling for it now for a month. It has snowed but it never stuck to the ground.

Also of note: I ran in a 2K race in October with the rest of my house. I got second behind the Kenyan in my house but to be fair, all of the good people ran in the 5K. Regardless, the race application asked people to wear costumes and so my house showed up in full gear. I was a jester with face paint and spiked hair, vaguely similar to a Star Child. My roommate Trevor and I decided that at the beginning of the race we would sprint for the first 100 yards to scare off any competition. We also wanted to know what it would be like to be in first place, and lastly, we wanted to be ridiculous. He was dressed in this absurd tight velvet ensemble that had billowing tails and lace fringe. Classy.

As the race began, Trev and I unleashed a flurry of speed and left everyone in our wake. The bike leaders in the front had to dash ahead because they thought this speed was sustainable. It was not. With the temperature being in the high 30s and with my jester costume being a thin veil, I quickly tired and the Kenyan passed us. Eventually my legs recuperated and I set up a good pace. So always know: sprinting at the beginning of a race is awesome, but if you intend to win, it may be a poor strategy.

For Halloween, I was one of the few staff members to dress up. Basically I was the only one who brought it. I was a pirate and I made the youth address me as Captain Blondebeard. Nathan did not exist. Captain Blondebeard killed him on the high seas. Whenever other staff would ask me a question or mock the elaborate dress of a notorious pirate, I'd shove my teased out beard into their face and utter pirate wisdom until they fell prey to laughter and joined my pirate crew.

So shall it be written, so shall it be done.

JVC

2009-11-01T11:24:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure a lot of people understand what the JVC is and what its about. Let's start at the basics. JVC stands for Jesuit Volunteer Corps. This is similar to the AmeriCorps program that the government sponsors. Both programs call for volunteers to dedicate a year of service and both get an AmeriCorps education award at the end. The difference is in the Catholic identity of the JVC.

First, let me make something clear: you don't have to be Catholic to be in the JVC, you don't even have to believe in God. You can be whatever faith background you choose.

Back on track. The JVC's Catholic identity is embodied in the four Jesuit values of Community, Social Justice, Spirituality, and Simplicity. These four basic values shape the life of a JV (Jesuit Volunteer) and separate us from the AmeriCorps program. The best way, then, to describe the way we're living is to describe these four values.

Community: I live with 6 other hooligans that I call housemates. We come from Michigan, Minnesota, Santa Cruz, Boston, Baltimore, New York, and Seattle. We all share a house. We pay our bills in community. We buy our groceries together. We have three "family dinners" every week where someone cooks for the rest of the house and we spend time eating together. We create time once a week to intentionally build up our relationships with each other through a community activity that someone creates every week (this could be playing football, watching a movie together, going for a walk, anything you can think of really).

Social Justice: Our areas of service are directed towards helping the marginalized and oppressed in society. In our house in Anchorage, we serve with the homeless, the domestically abused, those caught in a crisis, and the elderly in an extended care unit. We are learning about these different populations that are often ignored and learning how to better serve them. I don't think any of us expect to change the world, we just expect to bring a loving presence to those in need.

Spirituality: My community devotes time after one dinner a week to a spirituality night. We have a range of spiritualities in the house and so these nights are different each week. The idea is that we continue to explore our relationship with God, or for those less sure of the Divine, to explore our relationship with humanity. I personally use this value to encourage my own prayer life and to see how both prayer and service work together. I also think its a general appreciation for all the gifts we have received and a willingness to see the Beattitudes and give of our own abundance.

Simplicity: Each of us receives a check once a month from our work sites that cover our rent and utilities. It's around $350 a piece. Then we each get $50 for the month for food. This is community food money. We pool the money and buy our groceries together. Finally we get $80 bones for our own personal spending a month. I've saved a decent amount of it. We don't have cable, the internet, or tons of food options. I didn't bring my laptop. I have a bus pass and ride the bus to and from work every day. We only have access to vehicles when other people or our worksites don't need them. More than this, simplicity means being present to the ordinary: listening intently to those talking to you, finding the beauty in nature and in others, and instead of sequestering ourselves away to an electric box, screen, or ipod, we spend time with each other.

This might not all make sense or seem insignificant. But, I can say honestly that life here is extremely enjoyable. Life without the distractions of technology, with a purpose, with the diversity of a community that helps build you up, and with a space to think about our deepest desires is incredible.

Snow

2009-10-28T09:59:00.001-07:00

The first snow is coming down as we speak. None of it is sticking, but progress is progress. Soon I will be able to dig tunnels throughout the city, make a snow fire pit, and craft new snow sculptures every weekend.

My sister informs me that I am some hippie who needs to update his blog. I apologize for being behind on this. Apparently my last update was Oct 2nd. This is unacceptable. No one takes my blog more seriously than my ever loyal fans and it is a shame that I have not delivered. I promise two lengthy updates by Sunday night: one will describe the Jesuit Volunteer Corp and the other will be random musings.

Prepare to be educated.

Updates

2009-10-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have uploaded all of the photos I have taken so far. They can be found on my facebook page. I'll upload a link when my computer ends up getting Flash... Things to note are body paint, mountains, a glacier, moose, side-walk chalk, and embarassing close-ups.

In other news, the Lions won this weekend. On Sunday and Monday I was ecstatic. Then, I realized this was the first of 10 wins this season and so I mellowed out a little bit, anxious for the next satisfying victory. Matthew Stafford is the man. Also, UM plays MSU this weekend. Tate Forcier is also the man. There is nothing better than a surging Michigan team ready to absolutely dominate its little brother. I don't understand how MSU fans can even exist. C'est la vie.

The highs are in the 50s usually and the lows are beginning to hover around the 34ish mark. Also, just two days ago, a cow and calf (moosen) were taking a slumber in our front yard. My roommates took pictures and attempted to yell at the moose to make it go away so they could steal off to work. Moosen, being extremely stubborn, refused to budge and instead just continued on as usual. My housemates had to exit out the back door and walk around lest they be trampled. To get us back, the moosen ate all our plants and left us a hefty mound of tiny presents in the front yard.

My house is freezing. It has been in the 50s. I still have not collected enough votes to turn the thermostat to 60 degrees. Trevor and I are building a coalition, slowly tearing away the weak opposition with arguments about freezing pipes and general self-care. Very soon, the cold, shuddering mornings will be replaced with the gift of being able to take off your jacket when you enter the house. I can see the Promised Land and it is semi-warm.

Work just started. Hopefully I can squeeze in another update after work or at lunch. I still have to describe what the Jesuit Volunteer Corp is and what we're about. "They are coming..."

A katrillion points to anyone who knows that quote.

Slapping Down the Cold

2009-09-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

We’ve yet to turn on the heat, and my housemates have decided that it has to be decidedly colder inside before we do that. As a result, I asked my house to vote on a non-binding resolution so that we could declare that the house was cold. Having reprimanded the Cold, I’m sure it will step in line and follow the decorum the Congressman from South Carolina so surely lacked.

No burs have been captured. They’re going to be hibernating soon and they’ll be restless for bear berries. We’ve toyed with the idea of setting a trap: putting a pit in our backyard covered with leaves and palm branches, while using one of our housemates as bait. A bear has to attack you before you can kill it—unless you have a license—and so we need it to attack someone. It sucks for her I know, but sacrifices sometimes have to be made. I wish it didn’t have to be like this, burs are man-killing machines. Black burs are even known to stalk humans. Creepy, stalking, burs are the largest threat to American security. They are the terrorists of the North. Connections to al-Qaeda are forthcoming. If I’ve said this before, it is only because this is a super serious issue that Barack and Hillary are ignoring. We must save the republic.

In other news, Alaska is the warmest in September that anyone has been able to remember. Last year was cold and rainy and this year has been warm and sunny throughout the summer. It’s supposed to be winter jacket weather here by now, but fall has held on. We have mornings in the 40s and crisp daytime temperatures. Anchorage is funny with the weather too. If you’re in the city, it’s about ten degrees colder because of the wind rushing between the buildings and because of the shade.

Glacial Swim

2009-09-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

Here is a video of us swimming in a glacial river. I can be seen walking nonchalantly through the water because people from Michigan are just tougher than people on the coasts. Also remember that Bear Grylls teaches us to do pushups to avoid hypothermia.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2HTelZHpBk

Everyday life

2009-09-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

1. You wear a vest or a jacket in the morning because it's cloudly and clears up later in the day.
2. Fall starts at the end of August.
3. The Alaska State Fair, although surrounded by awesome mountains, is quite weak. The great Monroe County Fair of Monroe, Michigan (also better known as Mon-cool not Funroe) is bigger and better.
4. Moosen tastes a lot like other beef products. I think it's best in a stew.
5. Five dollar footlongs are $6.
6. I live with six other people: two other guys and four girls.
7. Seven is not a lucky number, no matter what anyone says. I have seen 7 moosen though.
8. The West side of the country is extremely eco-conscious, except for Alaska. This is odd because Alaskans complain about global climate change.
9. One man, not too long ago, was attacked by a bur in the woods. He stabbed it over 200 times, killed it, walked down the mountain holding his guts in his body with his hands, and lived.
10. Number of stabs it will take me to kill a larger bear.

Covy House

2009-08-31T11:55:00.000-07:00

I work at an organization called Covenant House Alaska in the Community Services Center. My job title is Case Manager and I have a desk tucked away in the corner. Basically, I am supposed to engage the youth who come in looking for jobs and to help them on whatever goals they have. We work on resumes, job searching, GED work, exploring their interests, job skills, proper social interactions, and a host of things like that. When youth start dropping out of school for whatever reason, I'm going to be doing a lot more GED work: testing them, setting them up with assignments, finding tutors, etc. I also try to build relationships with the youth who come in so that they feel comfortable working with me and so I can help them get other services that they need but may not know about. This might be housing, food, health care, or a number of other things.

I also double as a computer monitor where I lay down the law and kick people off computers when they're using it for MySpace.

From now on, I'll try to only talk about the noteworthy things about work. For example, I get free lunch everyday because I eat with the youth. Lorna the cook is amazing. I don't know why she isn't married. Some older guy needs to scoop her up.

The Age of Anchor

2009-08-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

The Living Things of Anchorage

Anchorage is an interesting place. So far, I've seen about 7 moosen, but alas, none have been bull moose. Instead, I've had the pleasure of seeing the cows and calves. They have enormous bodies that rest on tall, toothpick-like legs. In case you ever run into one know this: never get between a cow and her younglings, lest you be trampled. Otherwise they are supposed to be extremely dumb. They come and eat the leaves off your trees and then wander away.

No signs yet of bears, or as I call them, burs. I have been watching some Bear Grylls--from show Man vs. Wild--and I've learned to shout "Yo Bear" into the woods to scare them away. I await my showdown with the Grizzled Ones. Hopefully by then I will have fashioned a spear with my Swiss Army Knife, a stick, and some animal sinew so that I can repulse any attacks.

People in Anchorage are not actually from here. Everyone comes from other states, the bush (the outlying areas in Alaska), or other countries. There is some Russian influence here and there, but mostly it is a mix of Native Alaskan and American. The people who are from Anchorage are easy to spot because they are paler than your normal human, although, extended stay in Alaska will ultimately lead one to the same inevitable fate.

People dress casually here: jeans, trainers, and a light jacket. They also have a distinct way of speaking. The phrase "Right On" has never been more uttered more in any place than it is here. This designated saying is the quintessential affirmative response to all and any of your activities.

"How are you?" "Good." "Right On." "How about you?" "Doing well." "Right On." "I'll see you later." "Right On." "I went to a game yesterday." "Right On." "Right On."

Trying to get a blog started

2009-08-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

A lot of people asked me to get a blog to describe my adventures in Alaska. This was not my original idea; but, because of the number of people who asked me out of the blue, I will try to the best of my ability to put up a decent blog. If anyone would like to contact me I can be reached at:

email: nathan.krawetzke@gmail.com
cell phone #: (734) 755-9499
address: 2605 Aspen Drive, Anchorage, AK 99517

Always remember that Alaska is on Alaskan Time, which is four hours behind Eastern Time. If you have any questions about the Jesuit Volunteer Corp program I'm doing, about Alaska, about me, or whatever, please feel free to get in touch with me. I would love to talk to people, even if we've never met.

In the future, my posts will be better than this one detailing the logistics.